Biff Bam Pow Comics

So there I was, comic in hand, poised to read the latest issue (560) of Amazing Spider-Man (pictured below), when I had a feeling that hardly ever hits me. A feeling of utter boredom. A feeling I got - before I even opened the cover.

I’m sorry - I just couldn’t bring myself to review this book. I can’t do it - I hate the concept with a passion, and I despise its execution. Brand New Day is truly awful.

Therefore - as of today - Amazing Spider-Man has (very sadly - I am a big Spidey fan) come off my pull list.

And I feel compelled to urge you to do the same. Don’t waste your money - it’s just not turning out anything like a decent storyline.

For those new to the blog - click here to read how life could have been if Keith Planit had have been given a shot.

So no more Brand New Day for me. Off to The New Avengers for my Spidey fix now instead.

Oh dear. Those of you who read the Amazing Spider-Man issue 558 review will know that I wasn’t overly impressed with it. In fact - I thought it was downright terrible.

And sadly - this comic doesn’t go a great way towards making me feel better about Spidey’s future. In fact - I’m just plain worried about it now.

Any Spider-Man book from Marvel should be, without question (at the very least), a four star book. Fans are crying out for good storylines, memorable characters, and resonating moments. Brand New Day has none of these. In fact - Brand New Day, practically eliminated the possibility if any of these, by wiping the slate clean.

Before I carry on - let’s just remember the last time that the slate was wiped clean. Ben Reilly anyone? It took a lot of balls to tell the world that the Peter Parker we’d all been reading about for so many years, was in fact nothing more than a clone. Gutsy just doesn’t describe it.

And possibly - it could have been good. It had a recipe for success (Peter and Mary Jane were still in the book, the comic world was ‘accepting’ him slowly, etc), but it got buggered up with poor standards.

If I take a step back from my previous comments about Brand New Day, and look at it objectively, this was another gutsy move by Marvel. It could gave been great. But instead, because of terrible delivery - it’s becoming the bane of the Marvel Universe.

***SPOILER ALERT***

All this aside, this issue is a minor improvement on the last - focusing on Spider-Man’s pursuit of ScrewBall (a villainess who streams her crimes over the internet), Peter Parker’s choice to take a paparazzi assignment, and the introduction of yet another new throw away character - Paper Doll.

The scriptwork from Dan Slott is sadly anything but memorable (which is truly sad - as I am a fan of Dan’s work on She-Hulk and The Thing), and the art offered by Marcos Martin leaves a lot to be desired.

Pete’s Score: 2 out of 5
(if you’re a fan, you might get something out of the book - but if not, this won’t make you turn cartwheels) 

Right - now, this review will make a whole lot more sense if you take two things into consideration. One - I’m skipping all the pages with adverts on them, focusing only on the story. Two - this review would probably work best with a copy of the issue - but I’d be surprised if you bought it after reading this.

But anyway…

–four pages into the book–

You know something bad is going to happen in a comic, when after only four pages you feel compelled to put the book down and post about how much you don’t like it already. I did consider for a moment not writing this - but then I thought “nah - sod it - you’re all probably thinking it too”. I will however, carry on…

***SPOILER ALERT***

–five pages into the book–

Good lord, Curt Connors - GROW A SPINE! This has to be the most whiney version of Curt seen in a long time. Were he next to me - I’d be reaching for some sort of clubbing instrument right about now. Yes, you made a mistake, yes, there’s nothing you can do to fix it, yes, you are useless, yes, you should take the Lizard formula and eat Aunt May to save Brand New Day…

–six pages into the book–

So you’ll allow us to skip Spidey’s costume change, but not the senseless recapping of a redundant storyline? Sounds like a plan Batman…

–eleven pages into the book–

‘Menace’ is back in town. And looking less ‘menac-ing’, and more ‘return of the king’ than ever before. If I may be so bold as to say so - what an utter waste of a character appearance.

–sixteen pages into the book–

Great. ‘Freak’ appears to have ‘evolved’ into something. I’m sure that’ll spruce the story up some.

–twenty-two pages into the book–

Nope. Didn’t.

–end–

What a steaming pile of @£$%. The best thing about this book? The promotional artwork on the ery last page, showcasing John Romita Jr’s return to the book this summer. Please God let it be to the normal ‘Same Old Day’ and not this twisted mess.

Pete’s Score: 1 out of 5
(no redeeming qualities whatsoever - avoid it and read Keith Planit’s alternative instead)