Biff Bam Pow Comics

…on the Xbox360 and PS3 that is.

To say I was worried about the lameness of the upcoming Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe when I heard about the ‘no fatalities’ rumour - would be an understatement.

Mortal Kombat without fatalities? That was just ludicrous. The possibility of having Catwoman go up against Sonja without a finishing move… Well it was like thinking about an ice cream sundae and being told that you have to eat dirt.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it - but I just didn’t like it.

Now - enter E3, and a brand new trailer…

Worried? Not anymore…!

It’s that time again! Cee Diddy has combed the earth, cast a net across the sky and used the power of his telepathic cats to bring you a bunch of crazy (and probably not so crazy) ass rumours. This time mainly centering around Batman R.I.P. and any possible ‘big reveals’.

What’s my money on? I’ll give you three guesses. In the meantime - click here to get yourself some New Cee Diddy Holla!

So, here it is - another review that probably won’t win me any fans.

***MAJOR SPOILER ALERT***

This book is a bit of a mixed bag. Actually, it’s not just a mixed bag. It’s a bag of s&@t. I’m sorry - major things happened in this issue - Batman got caputred by Granny Goodness’ new incarnation, the Martian Manhunter had a send off, the Daily Planet got bombed (and Lois was very much in the middle of it), oh and Barry Allen came back - and it was a complete letdown.

Barry frickin’ Allen came back. And you know what - it was probably the most underwhelming comback ever. For something that should have gripped me from the word go, trapping me in its steely little teeth - issue two was just a waste. I’m stunned to say that I actually preferred issue one more.

In a word - “avoid”.

Pete’s Score: 2 out of 5
(pick it up only if you want to see Barry Allen’s return - otherwise, wait for the graphic novel)

So I bought this issue, a little uncertain as to how I would take it. Happily, I loved it.

***SPOILER (ha) ALERT***
So, as it happens, I’m nowhere near as up to speed as I need to be when it comes to Stephanie’s (Spoiler’s) history. Last I read, War Games hadn’t ended up to well for her, then recently she reappeared.

Now, usually this would be a problem. And this time, I’ll admit, I (mistakenly) was expecting it to be a big problem.

Thankfully however, Chuck Dixon has done such a bang up job of scripting this issue, it wasn’t an issue at all. Stephanie’s history is just a side note threaded in between two wonderfully action packed stories.

As you might expect, the book is spilt down the middle, offering up a choice cut of Robin and Spoiler rescuing a kidnapped girl, and a prime rib tale of Stephanie’s time in Africa, which gives fans a little more to add onto her character.

Raphael Alberquerque and Victor Ibanez both back Dixon’s script up with some truly top notch artwork, making you wonder what they could do on other DC books, such as Batman or Titans.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(seriously enjoyable reading - recommended for all)

There I was - sitting on the sofa in front of the tv, reading the latest issue of Top Gear (180 - July 2008), when lo and behold - what do I find on page 86…?

Great Britain. Making superheroes since the early 40s, and banging them up ever since…

I bought this issue to give DC’s new weekly series a chance to ‘wow’ me, and give Dan DiDio (even though he has yet to respond) another chance with my cash. In case you’re as skeptical as I was about picking this issue up - let me cut to the chase right now.

It didn’t wow me in the slightest - in fact it just disappointed me in ways that I truly wasn’t prepared for.

***SPOILER ALERT***

The biggest disappointment - and this is a doozy - was that the main story (featuring Bats, Supes and WW - from this point forward called ’story one’) was only half the issue. That’s right - midway through a short issue, enter cliffhanger moment, exit our heroes.

Which I’d now expect to be a mainstay throughout the rest of the series. Some may say I’m being harsh - but let’s face it - first impressions count.

Story number one revolved around a shared dream between Bruce, Diana and Clark, and - despite a little input from Wally West - was something of a let down, with some situations and dialogue feeling poorly ‘engineered’.

(for an example, see page 6 - Bruce to Clark “Ahh, Clark! Glad you could make it buddy!” - which should not be a line from the modern Batman to Superman, alter ego or no alter ego)

All that aside - what was story number two? Well, it turns out that to offer balance in the universe, a trinity of villains is coming together, consisting of Morgaine Le Fey, Enigma (who looks suspiciously like the Riddler to me), and soon - Despero.

It really comes to something when the second story in a Superman / Batman / Wonder Woman comic, containing nothing but bad guys / gals, is more interesting than the first. Yes, I know it’s a setup which will probably meld into the main book in later issues, or lead up to a climactic ending 51 issues from now - but come on DC - these are your heavy hitters.

Use them.

The truly saddening thing through all of this however, is just how good Mark Bagley’s artwork is. His style is, of course, very much associated to Marvel, and in particular Ultimate Spider-Man, but it’s good to confirm that his talents do fit within the DCU.

It’s saddening because he’s been given a complete turkey as his first project. Especially saddening when you realise that his artwork, and the pencils of Fabian Nicieza are the only good aspects of the book. Kurt Busiek’s script is most certainly not up to scratch.

Pete’s Score: 2 out of 5
(one point for the art by Mark Bagley in the main story, and one for the art from Fabian Nicieza in the second - avoid unless a die hard Superman / Wonder Woman / Batman fan)

Now, here’s a little known fact about my relationship with Batman. For most of my life - I’ve been a huge Batman fan. That’s not the little known fact - pretty much everyone knows that.

The little known fact is that I used to read Batman and fantasize about being Batman. About taking up the mantle of the Bat - fighting the good fight on the deep dark streets of Gotham. And the bad thing about this? Last time I fantasized about it was only a year or so ago.

So it’s fair to say I’m a big Batman fan.

Now - having said all of that - I’ve not been all that impressed with his books over the past year. But - happily - the last issue of Batman (676) left a good impression on me.

But what of Batman issue 677?

***SPOILER ALERT***

The book opens with an interesting sequence - Batman ‘interrogating’ one of the Black Hood’s ‘hentchmen’ - literally beating him to a pulp for information.

Going further in to the issue, plot seeds are laid for Bruce to go off the deep end, as it appears that he had a ‘trigger phrase’ implanted into his subconcious some years back - which the Black Hand would like to activate (with the help of a little librium).

Jet meets Bruce in full uniform under the Batcave, and begins to question his attachment to his calling - asking him if the Black Hand could really be within his head - and that’s when things start to turn a little ugly…

As with the last issue - this is a great book, beautifully drawn by Tony Daniel and exceptionally written by Grant Morrison. Happily - I’ve got a good feeling about Batman R.I.P.

And even more happily - I still think that I might get a shot at the Bat’s throne…

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(recommended - there are some dark days ahead for Bruce Wayne)

So here we have it. The much anticipated first issue of the Batman R.I.P. storyline, written by Grant Morrison and penciled (in this issue) by Tony Daniel.

This, in theory, could be a very big storyline for DC. If it goes the way it probably should go - we might end up with a new Batman. If it goes the way we’re expecting it to go - someone in the Batman family may very well bite the dust.

Before I get into the review - I’m going to take a stab in the dark at…

***SPOILER ALERT***

…Dick Grayson becoming Batman in issue 150 of Nightwing. Don’t ask me why - I haven’t got any insider info, just a gut feeling. Batman has bitten the dust (almost) once already during the return of Ra’s al Ghul, falling into the Fountain of Essence after being beaten half to death by Sensei.

Batman 676 opens with a very interesting shot from 6 months in the future - a darkened image of Batman and Robin, atop a roof in the middle of a storm. Batman proclaiming aloud “You’re wrong! Batman and Robin will never die!”, Robin ready to pounce on whichever villain they are facing.

Now - a few things to note about the imagery here. DC has of late been leaving subtle little clues in its posters / display materials / etc, to the future of any given series. Let’s just take a moment to reflect on the fact that Robin looks a wee bit tiny here. Tiny, and with a new haircut. A haircut that’s a little Damian-esqe… Could Bruce be dying / passing the mantle on to Dick, Tim be stepping up into Nightwing, and Robin’s boots being filled by Damian?

All just speculation - but damn that’d be interesting reading wouldn’t it?

One of the best Batman storylines ever written (in my opinion) was Prodigal. Dick finally getting the chance to prove to Bruce that he was able to be the Batman - if he ever needed him to be.

Since then, I’ve always wondered if it could happen someday. It’s certainly possible. Especially when you think about DC’s history of killing characters and replacing them with their sidekicks (see the history of The Flash, etc…). Around the time of Infinite Crisis however, when it was originally planned for Dick to bite the dust, the outcome looked bleak.

But then Conner waved goodbye instead, because of massive fan outcry. And suddenly, it all became possible again.

Now - having said all of this - I’m conscious that Dick has been living on ‘borrowed time’ since Infinite Crisis, and that Final Crisis could very well be his final outing.

Yet… Something makes me think he’s going to be around for awhile to come. And possibly wearing pointy ears come the end of R.I.P.

Buy Batman 676. It’s a good read, it’ll get your mind thinking, and it’s very likely to be the start of something very very very big.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(worth the $2.99 if for nothing more than it’ll get your grey matter moving on what might be coming for Batman)