Biff Bam Pow Comics

Yes that’s right - here is my official ‘kick in the balls’ list for last month. Would I have seen any of the below people in the month of June, I would have given them a swift kick to end zone, and probably been carted off in a police car.

3. Peter David

Ah Peter Peter Peter… You took She-Hulk, you looked at Dan Slott’s work, and you thought to yourself - “how can I improve on this?” Then, after you realised you didn’t have any immediate ideas, you stripped her of everything fans were enjoying, and tried to recreate her from the ground up. I tip my cap to you for the attempt sir, but I kick you in the balls for the f@£k up.

2. Dan Slott

Thought you’d escaped the list after that nice little write up did you? Well think again Slott. You sir, have committed a crime deserving of the maximum sentence. Not only have you written for the abomination that is Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day - you’ve done it pretty halfheartedly. That’s right - the bigger crime is not that you’ve changed something about the character (although a kick in the balls is the tip of the nut-shot iceberg for you on that one), it’s that you’ve churned out work far below your own high standards. A shake of the hand for the excellent She-Hulk, and a kick to the balls for Amazing Spider-Man.

1. Dan DiDio

I really don’t know where to begin with you Dan. We’ve had a funny old relationship you and I. I’ve written you letters, you’ve not responded, and I’m still sat here buying your comics. Comics of such ‘quality’ as Trinity. And Final Crisis. Comics I should be loving as a life long DC fan. But what have I got instead? Comics that I want to make paper airplanes out of. Your sir - you don’t just get a kick to the balls - you get a steel toe capped Brazilian soccer player kick to the balls. Hope your voice isn’t too squeaky afterwards.

Woah. Looks like Dan was holding out on us with issue 13… This book’s a complete belter. And when you read it alongside Mighty Avengers 15… Well… Damn.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Just as The Mighty Avengers did, the Initiative issue 14 takes a look at the work of the Skrulltastic Henry “Hank” Pym, and how he’s been using his connections to get other Skrulls into some highly strategic positions. Strategic positions such as - one on every single fifty-state Initiative team.

Dan Slott has done a top notch job with this issue’s script, making you wonder what he was upto a month ago, and why it took a tie-in to inject a little life into the book following the original team’s departure.

That minor dig aside - Stefano Caselli crafts some truly magical scenes, leaving you genuinely surprised by some sequences, and truly impressed with his stylistic accomplishments.

A marked improvement, worthy of your cash.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(much better than the previous issue - worth picking up)

Oh dear. Those of you who read the Amazing Spider-Man issue 558 review will know that I wasn’t overly impressed with it. In fact - I thought it was downright terrible.

And sadly - this comic doesn’t go a great way towards making me feel better about Spidey’s future. In fact - I’m just plain worried about it now.

Any Spider-Man book from Marvel should be, without question (at the very least), a four star book. Fans are crying out for good storylines, memorable characters, and resonating moments. Brand New Day has none of these. In fact - Brand New Day, practically eliminated the possibility if any of these, by wiping the slate clean.

Before I carry on - let’s just remember the last time that the slate was wiped clean. Ben Reilly anyone? It took a lot of balls to tell the world that the Peter Parker we’d all been reading about for so many years, was in fact nothing more than a clone. Gutsy just doesn’t describe it.

And possibly - it could have been good. It had a recipe for success (Peter and Mary Jane were still in the book, the comic world was ‘accepting’ him slowly, etc), but it got buggered up with poor standards.

If I take a step back from my previous comments about Brand New Day, and look at it objectively, this was another gutsy move by Marvel. It could gave been great. But instead, because of terrible delivery - it’s becoming the bane of the Marvel Universe.

***SPOILER ALERT***

All this aside, this issue is a minor improvement on the last - focusing on Spider-Man’s pursuit of ScrewBall (a villainess who streams her crimes over the internet), Peter Parker’s choice to take a paparazzi assignment, and the introduction of yet another new throw away character - Paper Doll.

The scriptwork from Dan Slott is sadly anything but memorable (which is truly sad - as I am a fan of Dan’s work on She-Hulk and The Thing), and the art offered by Marcos Martin leaves a lot to be desired.

Pete’s Score: 2 out of 5
(if you’re a fan, you might get something out of the book - but if not, this won’t make you turn cartwheels)