Biff Bam Pow Comics

Yes that’s right - here is my official ‘kick in the balls’ list for last month. Would I have seen any of the below people in the month of June, I would have given them a swift kick to end zone, and probably been carted off in a police car.

3. Peter David

Ah Peter Peter Peter… You took She-Hulk, you looked at Dan Slott’s work, and you thought to yourself - “how can I improve on this?” Then, after you realised you didn’t have any immediate ideas, you stripped her of everything fans were enjoying, and tried to recreate her from the ground up. I tip my cap to you for the attempt sir, but I kick you in the balls for the f@£k up.

2. Dan Slott

Thought you’d escaped the list after that nice little write up did you? Well think again Slott. You sir, have committed a crime deserving of the maximum sentence. Not only have you written for the abomination that is Amazing Spider-Man: Brand New Day - you’ve done it pretty halfheartedly. That’s right - the bigger crime is not that you’ve changed something about the character (although a kick in the balls is the tip of the nut-shot iceberg for you on that one), it’s that you’ve churned out work far below your own high standards. A shake of the hand for the excellent She-Hulk, and a kick to the balls for Amazing Spider-Man.

1. Dan DiDio

I really don’t know where to begin with you Dan. We’ve had a funny old relationship you and I. I’ve written you letters, you’ve not responded, and I’m still sat here buying your comics. Comics of such ‘quality’ as Trinity. And Final Crisis. Comics I should be loving as a life long DC fan. But what have I got instead? Comics that I want to make paper airplanes out of. Your sir - you don’t just get a kick to the balls - you get a steel toe capped Brazilian soccer player kick to the balls. Hope your voice isn’t too squeaky afterwards.

Well, it’s nice to say that issue thirty of She-Hulk continues the pace from book twenty-nine (which fans were crying out for), but has Peter David finally found his feet in telling Jennifer-She-Hulk tales?

Short answer - probably not. Slightly longer answer - good lord I hope not.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Although this book is a fun read (Jennifer ending up in bed with Hercules, then booting him out with his trousers around his ankles did make me smile), it’s still not up to the standard of Dan Slott’s run. Yes, I know I probably should be cutting Peter a little more slack than I am at the moment, yes, I know he did define much of Hulk history, and yes, I know all about how Dan has a different writing style.

And yes - I do know that Dan’s latest work has put him on my ‘kick in the balls’ list.

But you know what - this is a good comic book, but it isn’t Dan Slott She-Hulk good. Peter seems to have forgotten how to write anything above ‘good’ or ‘passable’ Jennifer stories. And although this issue does fall into the ‘good’ box - I’m still not feeling it as a series so far.

So, by the skin of its teeth (because of the ending, and the nice Herc cameo), She-Hulk issue 30 scrapes a score of…

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(pick it up and give it a go - then let me know what you thought)

Phwwwooaaarrr…

***SPOILER ALERT***

Green Hulk going up against Red Hulk in an all out war = Petegasm. What can you say about issue four of Hulk? Well, let’s start with the art by Ed McGuinness, and try to sum it up in three words. Hmmm. How about…

Jaw. Droppingly. Brilliant.

Yeah, that’s a fair assessment.

So next up, what about Jeph Loeb’s script? Let’s give this only a couple of words.

Fricking. Stunning.

From the opening moment where Red Hulk decks the Watcher (yes - that’s right - the Watcher) to the closing moments with Red Hulk and Thor standing face to face atop what appears to be the Brooklyn Bridge, this book is a complete powerhouse.

So if that’s the case - why have I give it a four, and not a five? Well - just as with Ultimates 3 issue four - I’m getting tough on ‘crime’, and docking Hulk a point for lateness. Yes, we had some badass books in between because of the delay (such as King-Size Hulk and Giant-Size Incredible Hulk), but you know what?

We all wanted this book to come out, because we knew how badass it would be after reading issue three. And now that its here - guess what. It’s everything we wanted it to be.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(get the book quickly - it will fly off the shelves)

So it took a little while for me to review this issue, but now that I finally have - is it just a fill-in while we all wait for Hulk issue 4, or a decent comic in its own right?

***SPOILER ALERT***

King-Size Hulk does very well in its main (slightly secret) objective - filling some time. But it does however also serve to add an extra something. A layer of pure menace between She-Hulk’s and Hulk Red, making a previously high octane scene now something which is truly frightening - and slightly worrying.

Add to this a level of sadness the reader will feel over Bruce Banner’s confinement beneath the ground (observed as readers watch Bruce mulling over the death of the Abomination and the radiation emitted by Hulk Red).

Not only does King-Size Hulk give us these choice treats, but it also gives us something new to chew over when we watch Hulk Red murder a Wendigo. A Wendigo that appeared to be part of a pack of Wendigos.

A moment that surely must come back to bite Bruce (by default) at a later point…

These mini-tales, combined with reprints of Incredible Hulk 180 (”And the wind howls… Wendigo!”), 181 (”And now… The Wolverine!”) and The Avengers 83 (”The Revolution’s Fine!”) make for a surprisingly effective comic - which is briliant value for money.

Final Crisis… Trinity - oh much you both have to learn - from this Marvel fill-in book.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(recommended - thoroughly enjoyable on multiple levels) 

Peter David’s She-Hulk and I haven’t really got on up until this point. I was thoroughly hooked on Dan Slott’s take on Jennifer, always keen to pick each issue up and read more on the numerous triangles that he had created between the staff at Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Book.

But Peter’s work… It felt more ‘Hulk’ than She-Hulk.

It was almost as though Peter was missing the inherent femininity within the character he was writing, choosing the focus purely on powerhouse abilities and stripping Jen of her ties to the real world.

Not a creative decision I would have made - but I understood his desire to make something different and unique, which is the main reason I chose to give the book a chance and carry on picking it up for a little while.

***SPOILER ALERT***

The last issue of She-Hulk saw Peter laying an interesting foundation - locking Jen up after she inadvertently broke a restraining order between her and Arthur Moore (also known as ‘Dark Art’) - the man who helped her to become disbarred.

Carrying that story on - Jen stays behind bars, but recounts the story of how Moore entered her life to her cellmate. This, to be honest, is one of those ‘fill in the gaps’ issues, explaining how the characters within Dan’s She-Hulk became those appearing in Peter’s.

In my opinion - the story within this issue is one that has needed to be told for far too long. Although I know that Peter wanted to make his mark as soon as he hit the book, I’m ever so slightly worried that he may have done it at the expense of some long-term readers.

Readers who would have appreciated a book like this, much sooner.

Pete’s Score: 4 out of 5
(a story that has been missing for far too long, now finally told - a good jumping on point to the series, although a question looms over the future of She-Hulk in Peter’s hands)